My History Of The World Part 1

The world was started with one word. God.

Unfortuanately God, hasn't been available for comment for about 2,000 years, so we have no proof to that, other than a book called the Bible, which if you've got an original signed copy of you'd have more money than anyone living today. Thus lies a problem, who wrote the Bible??? If you look at it there's no author. There's all the scripts by a bunch of guys with English names that followed a guy with a Spanish name. I'd like to goto the Holy Land and find one guy named Luke or John taking orders from a guy named Jesus. Hell, I can bet I wouldn't even find a guy named Luke or John.

But, I digress.

Ok, so, in my current belief system, the world was started by God. God then created a man named Adam (once again an English name) and a girl named Eve. These names are used with each in history all the way up to Blast For The Past staring Alicia Silverstone and Brenden Frasier. So, these two people were the only ones on Earth and everything was happy, until Eve convinced Adam to eat the red devil fruit Apple, and thus solidifying that women will forever be able to control men.

Of course men fought this fact forever trying to make themselves feel better, while holding women down for years and years, not giving them a fair share, making them stay at home, not letting them vote and so on. This continued and even though women are treated like equals today, men still hold a grudge after all these years.

Women of course have always held the power to control men with things like lust and sex and of course cooking and cleaning. But the thing is that women need men and visa-versa. After all, behind every George W. there's a Laura, and behind every Osama, there's a harem of women at his beck and call. And behind every Britney Spears there's a line of guys waiting for her to get plastered. Get my point??

Whine Whine Whine

Due to numerous complaints about the Blogger Comment System, I've gone back to HaloScan. I know, it's sad, it brings a tear to my eye too, but we'll all have to deal with it.

Oh No You Didn't!!!!!!!!!

The rules of the game are simple.


When and if you "Get Served" for god sake's DO NOT Dance back. Because if you serve the person that served you, then it is most definately ON! And you don't want it to be on, nothing good can come of it.


Owww, burn.

WooHoo Midnight....

Alright, I'll give ya the quick rundown of my take on stuff that came out today. I'll base it on a Points Scale with 5 being the highest or best, and 1 being the lowest or worst.........and if you really needed that explaination then you are a retard.

Ok I'll start Off with the Big One.


Lord Of The (Mother Fucking) Rings......

That's a 5 Star in my book. And probably a 0 in my host Sheep's book.
But it's one of the best movies of the year, you should at least sit through it once.


Slipknot Vol. 3

I listened to it in my car on the way home. And it's freaking great. I have no complaints about actually buying it. It's Slipknot, if you liked them before you're gonna like them now, their not like other rock bands that just suck after 3 albums. I'll give it 3 stars if you've never heard Slipknot before. 5 if you have.

Avril Lavigne Under My Skin
I've been listening to this CD for about a week. At first I wasn't a big fan of it. But, it's really growing on me. I'm starting to like it alot. Kinda like how I did with her first CD. So I'll give it 4 stars for growing on me.

That's the big stuff for the week. I'm going to get some sleep.

Gotta get away. There's no point in thinking about yesterday

I serious have got to get out of here. I just need to start everything over. Somewhere else. Unfortunately that doesn't look like it's in my near future. I'm gonna be fucking stuck here for a while.

As much as I wish I could just pick up everything I need and leave here, I can't. At least not right now. I do realize what's good for me and what's not. Getting the bad stuff out of my life should be the easiest freaking thing in the world, but it's not. I'm a victim to routine. I'm it's bitch. I'm a pawn in its chess game, and I can only sit there and watch it move my hands, move my lips, and point my fingers to the keys.

I'd like to go where I'm happy. Problem, I don't remember where that is. I can't remember happiness. I can remember times I was happy, but not happiness itself.
I should be done with this phase of my life. I should be gone, but yet here I am sitting here, typing to you.

He's the EXTREME!

Ok, with all the Tornado like weather currently hitting our area, I've gotten an urge. I want to go tornado chasing. I've never seen a tornado up close, and I'd probably shit myself if I did see one, but I would just like to see one once.

So, is anyone up for a little tornado watching.

Legally What??

I TiVoed Legally Blonde. I've never seen the movie before so this was an unique experience. Sadly, I found it quite entertaining. If my manhold could be questioned anymore, yes I liked Legally Blonde. It was a good movie. And unfortunately it just confirms my love for blonde haired women.

Alright, now that I'm over that. I saw the StC play tonight. It was very good. I got to see a lot of peeps I haven't seen in a while. Got updates on others. It was good times. Then I came to the realization that I've acted on stage with only 2 of the people up there before, and I felt a little old. But that's ok, the play was great and I think it was one of the best sets I've seen on the StC stage. I was very impressed.

My time grows short as I my mind keeps trailing off. I'm cool with that though. I needs to get things done. Arrgghh....My mind hurts and I need some sleep.

The Want To Post...Leads To Bad Things

I've been doing nothing lately so, once again I figured I'd sit down and do a celebrity interview. Alright this week, I got yet another political guy this time, The Govenator, ARNOLD!!!

Blaine:So, Arnold, since no one else was available, I figured I'd just have an interview with you. Alright??

Schwarzenegger: Ok, who is your daddy and what does he do??(Kindergarten Cop, 1990)

Blaine: Well, he's....Wait dude, I'm the one doing the interview.

Schwarzenegger:: Big mistake! (Last Action Hero, 1993)

Blaine: What?

Schwarzenegger: Get Down!!!! (Terminator 2, 1991)

Blaine: Dude, you are one crazy mother fucker.

Schwarzenegger: You are one ugly mother fucker.(Predator, 1987)

Blaine: Alright, let's get on with the interview please?

Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk eh? (Terminator, 1984}

Blaine: Once again dude, I'm the one that's suppose to ask the questions. So, What is the deal with...

(Interrupted by Schwarzenegger)

Schwarzenegger: I'm not a pervert. (Jingle All The Way, 1997)

Blaine: Ok dude, you're not a pervert, but this interview is over, so any last words??

Schwarzenegger: Consider this a divorce! (Total Recall, 1990)

Blaine: Man, talking to you is like talking to a movie quotes soundboard.

Schwarzenegger: I'll be back! (Termiantor, 1984)

Looky Looky I've Made The Big Time

I've finally jumped to greener pastures. Tripod no more, I'm here chillin' with the rest of the Sheepshirts Network kids. Ha Ha. Thanks To Nick for letting me in. I think I'll stay here a while.

I'm Fighting Terrorism....I'm Rollerblading......

Yeah, so when Nick brought up the idea of rollerblading today, the only thought that came to mind was me falling down a lot and dying. Hell, it was a pretty ridiculous idea at the time because I didn't even own a pair of rollerblades.

This idea intrigued me however because I've never tried rollerblading before. I decided I might as well try it. So, I went and purchased myself a pair of rollerblades. I put the blades on and walk up to the rail trail hoping that I don't fall on my ass.

It took me a little while, but I kinda got the hang of it. I did happen to fall down once. Would've probably happened more if Nick wasn't there. But I did it.

But, the question, Will I i do it again? Quite possible. I'm bound to get the hang of it eventually.

Alright, this post is pretty gay. So, I gotta get my cred up again.

So, there was this bitch waiting at a corner, I pulled my car up to her and she's like

"You lookin for a good time?"

And of course I replied with

"Bitch, if I wanted a good time I'd sit on my hand until it goes numb and give myself a stranger."

Then I drove away calmly as if nothing happened.


Randy Out.

What's old.......Looks New.......

So, I've changed the name. Now I've changed the look. YAY!!

Since money is like the root of all things now a days. It's basically like God, in a way. So, I'd just like to say. God is in my pants. And what he lacks in size, he makes up for with omnipotence.

My dog is a klepto. I found out today that he was muscling dogs out of their own toys when he was in the kennel. I really wondered where he got the new toys from when we picked him up, but I just figured he got them from some of the people at the kennel, but nope, he stole them. My little dog, the big bully of the kennel. He makes me proud.

Well, do to the lack of commentary on my part. I've decided to share so stuff with ya'll. Yes, I just said "ya'll".

As many of my readers probably know, I was recently in Washington D.C. for the second time in my life. It's always a thrill to go there, but when I was there I got to visit a friend of mine. Someone that's been mentioned on this site before. I got to sit down and talk to this person again, infact I even got to go past his house a couple of times.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you....





BLAINE: So, ya been thinking about the last time we spoke??

BUSH: You know, probably once every two weeks.

BLAINE: Really? You're that sad?? Ok, I digress. So, has Daddy had to come find you since you've been avoiding all these 9-11 hearings. Have you been hiding from him like how Bin Laden and those weapons of Mass Destruction have "Bin Hiden" from you??

BUSH: No, I'm in touch constantly -- you mean like in terms of asking him stuff?

BLAINE: Oh, yeah, calling up, saying, what about the Saudis, you know, you've deal with them, what about them, and what should I do here, dad? You had a war with Saddam Hussein. What about that? I need help Daddy I'm scared. Ya know stuff like that.

BUSH: No, I can understand. First of all, I talk to him really as son to father. I am worried about the fact that he is worried about me. You know you a very good question, did I take criticism of him or me easier, and the answer is, I take criticism of me easier.

(Incoherent mumbling)

BUSH: Now it's reverse. He reads everything -- he listens to everything, and I know he agonizes over every, you know, every tough word. And...

BLAINE: So you end up calling to comfort him? How sweet......

BUSH: I call him to comfort him, really, yeah absolutely. And let him know that, you know, I'm doing good, don't worry about me. Seriously. And the -- but in terms of advice on how to make decisions, the best advice to get is from people like Rice and Powell and Rumsfeld and Cheney and Tenet and Snow and Evans and Card. I mean, the people that are actually living these issues on a daily basis. It doesn't hurt my dad's feelings, because he knows that they are more up to speed than he is. He does not get the daily briefs. He does not know all the insides and outs of what's going on here.

BLAINE: What about your brother Jeb? How often are you in touch with him?

BUSH: Maybe once a month.

BLAINE: Really? That few times. That's very hard -- a lot of people would find it very hard to believe.

BUSH: Seriously.

BLAINE: Fellow politician, right? Finger on the pulse of a bit state.

BUSH: We're busy. Understand that. So when he makes a phone call, it's really not to spend a lot of chit-chat time. I do spend time with my brother Marvin and my sister Dorothy.

BLAINE: So, if Jeb's finger is on the pulse of Florida, where's your finger?? Could it be far from the pulsestuck straight up your ass??

BUSH: Right.

BLAINE: I'm glad we agree. Ok, now you're not the only person in the news right now talking about trials and such. Right now there's the a little happening with Michael Jackson going on right now. Now I have to ask, Are you Wacko, for Jacko and the rest of his family??

BUSH: Indeed. They come up for the weekends, to Camp David with us. And it's a good chance to be with them. I love to be with my family and his, but we are not pick up the phone chit-chat people that much.

(Bush suddenly grabs his knee)

BUSH: I've hurt my knee, and...

BLAINE: Oh really? Is it bad?

BUSH: It's bad enough that I cannot run.

BAINE: What is it? Is it a feeling of change coming???

BUSH: It may have been a little meniscus. I might have torn it a little bit. I pulled my calf, then I hurt the meniscus, and I am hoping to find a lot of sympathy around here, but I haven't found any yet.

BLAINE: Looks like you hit the wrong town.

BUSH: Wrong place, exactly. Maybe I ought to go up to Capitol Hill...

BLAINE: Oh, yeah, that's a hotbed up there. What are you doing for exercise?

BUSH: Exercise. Elliptical . Jim Ryan , here at the White House during a t-ball game, I believe it was, suggested that I go to the swimming pool back over there and run in the pool, put a little floaty on and run.

BLAINE: A little floaty huh?

BUSH: Yeah, it's good exercise.

BLAINE: Do you use the term "little floaty" often?

BUSH: I do it about three times a week now. And lift weights.

BLAINE: Ohhhh, big strong man.

BUSH: Yes.

BLAINE: Is there someone you're trying to model yourself after by lifting those weights?

BUSH: President Clinton and I think Robert Trenton Jones ...

BLAINE: Ahh I see, it all comes back to Clinton, the guy people liked even though he was a playa.

BUSH: He was.

BLAINE: So, do you have anyone else in mind that you're trying to fashion yourself like?

BUSH: I do.

BLAINE: Well, who?

BUSH: See my man Barney over there?

BLAINE: The purple dinosaur????

BUSH: He loves me, I love him

BLAINE: Ok, let's not get to carried away here.

BUSH: So in the evening, we'll come out here and play, and I'll pretend I'm the President and Barney understands me. I want to be like him.

BLAINE: I'm speechless.

BUSH: Thank you. I'm glad I could help if you, because you exube an awesomotity that I can't descripticate.

BLAINE:...........

BLAINE:(Dumbass!)