I've never felt as if I live in a harsh world. But I do.
I lie here trying to sleep. But alls I get is thoughts in my head. Many different thoughts, many different feelings.
I so would like to write them all down and let the world take notice of them, but yet, I don't want you to know. I don't want anyone to know.
Though my feelings are all obvious, nobody ever seems to get them. Though my intentions are always ment to be good, they can sometimes cause people to think otherwise, and does it bother me? Yeah, it can. But I've realized that I don't really let people in to often. Even some people I've known my entire life have not seen every side of me. But that's because I don't show them. I don't show anybody. I'm been thrown into this harsh world, wondering around looking for something, thinking I've almost found it and finding out that there was nothing there at all. Just another dream, in the landscape of my life. I know this. I know the people I constantly talk to like to hold back as well. Telling me only parts of days and deleting out the parts I don't want to hear. Or is it just me not wanting to hear them that blocks them out. Hmm selective hearing is a curse and a blessing, because ignorance can cause many things, and one of them happens to be bliss. I'm gonna write some lyrics now. Then get some sleep. and I just realized that I'm posting twice in 1 hour. So, before I start to become a post whore like Marissa, I'll just quit now.

Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. That's all I ever do. But this week is Spring Freakin' Break!!!! and I actually get 2 days off in which I can do stuff. So, what am I gonna do??hmmmmmmm I don't know. There's lots of possibilties seeing as I've got a pocket full of bills and not work from Monday night at 12:30 until Thursday at 4:00. The utter possibilties are endless. I'd so love to just take an unkown trip somewhere or something. Just to get away from everything for a couple of days, that'd be spectacular. Maybe go up north or something, since everyone else seems to go south, I'll fight the system!!!! And if I win my poker game tonight, which all signs point to the fact that I will, because I will not be merciful tonight, I'll definately wanna do something. Eh, I'll figure it all out later. Now, it's time for some good sleeping.

Ahh, I see. That's it isn't it. Ahh bother. Savvy?

i Bought Metal Gear SOlid 2 like 5 months ago. And I beat it in 5 hours. Good game for only $10. So,

I was gonna go buy a ticket and see the "Passion" tonight. But I didn't. eh...It's not that important. I know how it ends. I mean come on, the book has been out forever!!! But people are making such a big deal about it being brought to film. Throw in one really religious director that happens to be a big movie star and let controversy flood the media.

There was a lady outside of work yesterday. She was going on and on about the "Passion". She'd just stop customers in the parking lot and ask them if it changed lives and their views on God and Jesus. Eventually the cops showed up and took care of her. They put a gun to her head and asked her if she still believes in God. She said yes and they shot her foot and asked if she still believes, she said yes again, then they shot her in the head. The cops stood up and took a bow, then the dead lady stood up and took a bow, people started clapping, and the lady shouted, "You've just witnessed a happening by the Saginaw County Parking Lot Players!"

Ok, despite how cool that would be, none of it really happened :( . BUT there was a lady outside in the parking lot hassling customers about the "Passion" and the police did get her to go away, but no guns we used in the incident.

Enough Already!

Alright, I have my TV turned to MTV right now, and I'm not watching it, just listening to it because I'm working on some computer stuff. But within the last hour I've heard the song Toxic by Britney 5 times!!!! ARGGHH!! Now, don't get me wrong she's pretty hot in the video and all, but that song just gets on my nerves hearing it over and over. It's like scratching fingernails accorss a chalkboard. When will MTV learn, take the audio from a Cold video, because I really don't care if I see them in a video or not because their music says enough, and show the Britney video. Hell, let'em play the song stupid girl and keep putting in clips of britney from different video, I don't care, just stop the chessy techno wannabe club music and play something good. Oh sorry, I forget it's MTV not MTV2, Charter sucks.

Oh and Ozzfest.com has announced dates for this years Ozzfest. Detroit on Aug. 17!!!! With Slipknot headlining the Second Stage!!! Hell Yeah!!

WooHoo for Tuesday. not really because I actually have to go to class today and turn in an assignment. Then I have to do some work in the computer lab. This is gonna suck. I hate driving all the way out to SVSU for 5 minutes of class and then go off to another computer lab just to finish some stupid homework for tomorrow. ARRGGHH!!! I like college and all, but these classes I'm taking right now suck.

In some Friday the 13th news. My sister fell down a mudhill and sprained her wrist yesterday. Maybe the day isn't so cursed.......just kidding

Hell must have no passion, or heaven is just messed up beyond relief.

Two great days in a row. One day I used to look forward to for many reasons. The other day I totally dread. And this weekend their back to back. WONDERFUL!!!! (note the sarcasim)

Friday the 13th-A day of bad luck in anybody's book. Just one of those day that either you believe something is gonna go wrong, or something just straight up goes wrong. I'm not all about Friday the 13th, it's scary, some dude is gonna come after me in a hockey mask and try to slice me into bits. UH oh....

Valentine's Day-A wonderful day full of love, romance, and sex. Well, only a happy day if you're with someone else. Preferably the one you love, because that normally makes things A LOT better, especially because girls make such a big f'n deal about this holiday. I enjoyed the holiday when I had someone to care about. Now this holiday is just a reminder, that I don't. I was digging though stuff in my room today and I found an old valentine from Lindsey. It was written in spanish. All I know is that it had the word love in it a lot, other than that I can't really understand what it says. Hopefully it was good though, getting a mean valentine would be bad.

So happy Friday the 13th, and Valentine's day. Hope you can enjoy it, because I'm working a freakin 2-10 shift at work to prep for the inventory on sunday. YAY for working on a holiday, but it at least gives me an excuse to not going out and doing anything or sitting at home for that matter, well, at least I won't feel like a total loser, I'm not gonna be sitting home on Valentine's day. What's your excuse?

If the world didn't have enough drama. I watched the news today and what makes the news in our town??

Barbie and Ken split up....That's right every little girl's dream couple is calling it quits. For the goosiping kids out there the reason that they broke up??? Barbie wanted to move on. She's getting a California makeover and hitting some new guy named Blaine. Yes, Blaine. Personally I think the reason was that Ken is gay, and he didn't want to make a big media frenzy about it. And yes I realize I just wrote about Barbie and Ken. Now shut up and goto bed.

***************Reader's Be Warned***************
****This section of my site is pimped out to Media Play****


Media Play is starting 2 distinctive Clubs in the near future.

Club numero 1 is an Anime Club. Yes, an Anime Club, for all of you that watch anime, you can now join the others in saginaw, watch some anime and discuss. On top of that, you'll be getting discounts on anime dvds. I think it's gonna be like 20% off but don't quote me on that because we're still discussing it. This is something that Your Saginaw Media Play is doing on it's own, because corporate Media Play wouldn't know an idea like this if it smacked them in the balls.

Club 2, an RPG Club. Get together once a week and do some roleplaying. What ever RPG you're into, Odds are there's gonna be other people there that are into it too. So, you'll get to play your favs and experience new ones if you wish. Just like the anime club, RPG club members are gonna be getting a discount on their books, probably around 20% off just like the anime club, but once again do not quote me on that.

Alright enough pimpin for your Saginaw Media Play located at the corner of Bay and Tittabawasse between Gamestop and Circuit City. (I'm a whore)

On to other pimpin. Joe has a new blog thingy. I've updated his link in my links section. Hopefully this one will be updated.

I'm Outtie

this beer must have a shot of buttershots added to it to make it feel good, otherwise it just tastes like nasty beer. mmmmm.....

I'm All Emotional, Yo. Part I



Half asleep, a little sick, and an emotional wreck. This is how I can describe myself right now. I feel as if I'm a shell of my former self. I have no feeling right now and it kills me. I'm stuck in my house night after night watching sappy movies about love and hate and every other feeling imaginable.

MY Top Five Movies About Love:
5. Cruel Intentions
4. High Fidelity
3. True Romance
2. Chasing Amy
1. Romeo and Juliet

All movies are tragic in their own ways. Just like life. Life is a tragic story. We all have our own tales of tragedy. I've faced many of my own tragedies in life and I doubt I've discussed all of my issues here due to the impact they've had on my life. Over the past year, I've searched and searched and yet I still can't find what I want. Well, let me rephrase. I can't find how to get what I want. I had a long drawn out post in mind when I started this, but I don't feel like continuing this right now. Later

"Penal Code?....I didn't do anything with my penis!"
-Brad (MTV's The Real World)




OK, since I'm sad and watch MTV, it has inspired me to find weird some weird quotes. So I will now give you a shot load of quotes I've found. You may now die happily.



"Keep talking. I'm just gonna start drinking now."
-Isaac (SportsNight"

"I got rid of my teeth at a young age because... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them."
-Master Shake (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch."
-Stewie (Family Guy)

"The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass."
-Red (That 70's Show!)

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar."
-Drew (Drew Carrey Show)

"Vegetarian" is an old Indian word meaning "I don't hunt so good."
-Reg (The Red Green Show)

" My parents keep asking, "How was school?" It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was - you're lucky to get out alive."
-Angela (My So-Called Life)

"Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack. Eh, screw the whole thing."
-Bender (Futurama)

Ok. That's all I'll give you for now.