Gotta get away. There's no point in thinking about yesterday

I serious have got to get out of here. I just need to start everything over. Somewhere else. Unfortunately that doesn't look like it's in my near future. I'm gonna be fucking stuck here for a while.

As much as I wish I could just pick up everything I need and leave here, I can't. At least not right now. I do realize what's good for me and what's not. Getting the bad stuff out of my life should be the easiest freaking thing in the world, but it's not. I'm a victim to routine. I'm it's bitch. I'm a pawn in its chess game, and I can only sit there and watch it move my hands, move my lips, and point my fingers to the keys.

I'd like to go where I'm happy. Problem, I don't remember where that is. I can't remember happiness. I can remember times I was happy, but not happiness itself.
I should be done with this phase of my life. I should be gone, but yet here I am sitting here, typing to you.